Hello all!  I know I have been MIA for the past few years.  But with my current health crisis I need an outlet!  

As many of you have heard I have been going through some crazy stuff!  I have Scoliosis, this is a disease that causes a curvature of the spine. mine is shaped like an "S". This condition gets over looked so often because no one really talks about it. Here is my last years xrays. This years were not digital so I don't have a great jpeg to share. SO its much worse now.  

You probably know the weird kid in your class growing up with the back brace that everyone made fun of. Well I was that girl. I was diagnosed at 9 with a 18 degree thoracic curve, braced at 10, (wore that brace 23 hrs a day for 5 years) and doctors tried to scare us into fusing my spine when I was 12 when I hit 68 degrees.  I was able to get it down to 55 with chiropractic, exercise, yoga, massage therapy, and PT.  I have been dealing with this disorder for a very long time.  But this last year my curve that has held at 55 degrees since I was in my late teens, decided to increase dramatically just to add a little fun to my life. It jumped up to 83 degrees and the added pressure is literally causing major degeneration of the vertebrae.  And lots and lots of PAIN!   

I need this to be a place to vent my frustrations, share my triumphs, and gain some support! I was told my curve would not progress by more than a few degrees as an adult.  And my doctors are still at a loss for why now and why so fast.  Its terrifying and extremely painful.  I have a very very long road ahead of me to try to avoid a fusion surgery that has a very high failure rate. something like 80%.  But that is the only form of  treatment insurance wants to pay for. Something that will only cripple me further!  

I am so frustrated with the way insurance works.  So because of this and the fact that I have to treat it now as fast as possible I have to put about 10k on a credit card and a medical loan to pay for the travel and first part of my treatment.  

This first step is a 2 week treatment boot camp in NewYork called ScoliSmart.  You should go check them out.  Its pretty amazing what they do!  Here they will make custom equipment for me to bring home.  This will get my spine more flexible, help with the pain, and hopefully straighten my curve out some so that again less pain and stress on the spine.  

Also It could put me in the range to be able to do a new ish surgery called Vertebral body tethering. This surgery will help to straighten my spine as much as humanly possible while allowing for me to remain flexible. Its also way less recovery time and has a HUGE success rate in terms of keeping the spine straight and reduction in pain. I want it so bad!  But again this is not covered my insurance and again I have to travel to the only doc in the US that will do it on adults.  He is in New York as well.   Maybe I should just move there ha ha ha! 

Anyways, in the mean time I have been told to stay as active as possible and to continue to do my workouts.  So you will still see me running around town doing things. I try to use my few hours of energy for fun things like swimming with the kids or walks with Brock or essential things like grocery shopping ha ha.  

You will also see me smiling and being happy no matter what because that is who I am!  I can't help it.  SO many people don't believe the chronic pain I am dealing with because I refuse to let it ruin my life! I have been in chronic pain since I was 9.  I know the drill. Yes it is way more intense.  And some days are worse than others.  But I refuse to stop living my life. 

So ya, you may see pics of me walking a trail in Sedona, but you wont see the pic of Brock practically carrying me to the car on the way back.  

You will see me at the park with my kids, grocery shopping, going to the gym, riding bikes to school, and a million other things. But you don't see me laying in bed the rest of the day or two days.  Or Brock carrying me up the stairs to our bedroom cause my muscles are going so crazy and my nerves are so inflamed that I can't lift my head let alone walk.  

It may seem silly to keep trying to be active when the pay off seems so crazy.  But again, THIS IS ME!  I love love love playing with my kids, being a mom, a wife, an active person and no disease gets to tell me how to live....  Also my Drs. assure me that this is the best thing I could do for myself.  The second I give up is the second I end up 100% crippled.  NO THANK YOU!  I will do everything in my power to remain active and enjoying life.  Including going into debt for treatments that will actually work!

Yes my disease is making that extremely hard right now but, I do what I gotta do!  So please, my biggest fear is people seeing me out and about and then seeing my Facebook and blog posts and thinking I'm a faker.  I am not.  This is real. 

Thanks for reading! I hope I don't sound like a crazy person!  Also If you would like to help us out with our medical expenses we set up a "You Caring" fundraising account.  This site does not take a profit so all you donate goes to the cause! I have years of treatments ahead of me and non of it is covered my insurance.  So every little bit helps!  Share my story and donate if you can thanks so much.  

Date Nights and Boredom Busters!

So I guess yet again it has been a long time since I updated the blog.  Luckily I am now on bed rest so I have plenty of time to update this thing!  I think I am going to make it a weekly goal to post something every week even if it is short.  I know no one really reads this but, it's a good way to journal our family activities.

So first for the fast update on our family.  Rian is now 6 and almost done with kindergarten!  I can't believe my little girl is getting so big!    Maddox is now 5 and can't wait to start kindergarten this august.  He loves doing everything Rian does, and feels very left out when she gets to do new things, like school, and he does not.  So I can't wait for him to figure out school is not as fun as it looks!  Just kidding I know he will love it.  Paxton is 2 now!  He talks so much and is such a smart little boy.  He was trying to potty train himself, because he sees Maddox doing it.  Once I got pregnant that slowed him down.  Now he has to remind me daily that he is my baby.   Brock has had his own practice up and running now for almost seven months!  It is going great and he loves what he does.  Here is a quick link to his site in case your curious at what he does. www.johansenwellness.com He really is an amazing doctor and I can't be more proud of him.  I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with our 4th and final baby!  Her name will be Paisley Grace.  I am so excited that it is a girl.  It just makes things so perfect with 2 boys and 2 girls!  I also am in love with her name.  Paisley I have always loved, and Grace is after my great grandma grace.  She was an amazing woman and I love and miss her very much.  She was so full of spunk, I hope Paisley can be like her.

Now on to the title of my post!  Since I have been put on bed rest for the past month and a half, and still have a month and one week left, I have been extremely bored.  Not only am I bored but the kids are bored too!  I have also been feeling very un-connected with the hubby.  Not because he is not around or helping me out.  We do watch a movie or show or two nearly everyday.  But I think it is because we have not been able to have our regular dates!  Watching movies while fun, is not fun EVERY day.

Then it got me thinking about after I do have the baby and can go out again.  How often do we do the same date of dinner and a movie, or just dinner?  Too often mainly because we simply are too tired to come up with creative ideas.

  I also then thought of the kids and how bored they are.  I am so tired of hearing "Mom! I'm sooo bored!"  Normally I take the kids out of the house nearly every day, and do something fun.  trip to the dollar store, park, chick fil a, friends houses, pools etc.  Now that I can't they get bored fast.  I have had lost of help and support from the ladies in my ward taking the kids a couple times a week to play.  That is a big help.  But what about the rest of the time?  I need to come up with something fast!

So I decided to do some research on these two things.  I keep coming across these, and I LOVE them!

How brilliant is this!  Then I thought I need things to fill them with... This task seemed a little, ok a ton, overwhelming.  So I decided to search the internet and find ideas and write down some of my favorites, tweak some to fit us, and then eventually with the creative juices flowing came up with a few of my own!  

I cannot wait to try these out.  I liked the idea of color coding the date jar.  One color for at home dates one color for inexpensive dates, and one color for more expensive ones.  I might try to incorporate this idea into the kids boredom jar as well.  

Follow these links to find my ideas that you can print!  

Date Night Jar

Kids Boredom Jar

Now all I need o do is make the jars!  

Too Long

It has been so long since I updated this thing!  Sorry people!!  Life has been a little more than busy I guess.  So many things have changed.  Were do I start?

First I guess I will say that I love the new area we moved to last December.  The ward is wonderful and full of amazing people.  I think the best part is that for the most part they are all young with kids like us!  It has been so long since we have been in a ward that is full of kids and younger parents.

Next is Brock finally GRADUATED!!!!  Yay!  He has set up his own practice... in a friends office.  They share staff and eventually overhead and everything so its a great deal.  Dr. Hopkins (the friend)  has been in practice for 10 years, so the office is well established, and runs great.  It is also beautiful.  Visit his website to see pics and get a better idea of what it is he does!  www.johansenwellness.com
Because of what he does in his practice and how they have it set up he can help anyone around the world so that is wonderful.  Dr. Hopkins even has patients in Dubai.  Can't wait till  Dr. Brock can say fun things like that.  Right now it is Utah, Arizona, and Texas.  Which is great for a start ;)

More good news!  Rian has started kindergarten.  I know I cannot believe it either!!!  I have a child in elementary school... when did she get so old.  She will be turning 6 in just a few months.  AHHH!  She is so funny and full of attitude.  She says she loves school but refuses to tell me anything that goes on while she is there.  If I bug her about it she makes up stories about what she did.  last week she told me she went on a purple school bus to a park by the zoo and ate lunch with another class.  I of course at first was a bit concerned that she left campus without anyone telling me.  Then when she said it was a purple bus she smirked and I realized that she was just being a stinker!    Silly girl.  Oh she also has a diet in church this week.  She is very excited for that as well.  She gets to sing the second verse in "Jesus Once Was a Little Child".

Maddox is growing up so fast as well.  Being the oldest at home every day he is learning just what it means to be a big brother.  Some days he is helpful... Some days not so much ha ha.  I know he is a little jealous about Rian getting to go to school.  He wants to go so bad.  So I am trying to see if I can't figure out a way to afford to put him in karate lessons.  He loves karate and some friend have said that getting their sons in karate it helped with learning discipline and respect.  I hope so! ha ha ha Now only if I can afford it!  but he does love helping with chores if you ask a few times.  He is really good at playing with Pax.

Paxton is finally in nursery!  Hallelujah!  The kid is a handful.  Adorable but crazy LOL.  He is so full of energy its nuts.  He is also hilarious.  He says NO to everything!  Unless you ask him if he wants food, then it's Ya, in a deep voice.  Pax is obsessed with cars.  If he sees one he goes nuts.  When I leave the house I cannot leave unless I have toy cars and food or there will be a screaming Paxton.  He is starting to like to cuddle which I soak up like crazy.  Gosh I love that kid!

Now for me.  I am still in school :(  Never getting out ha ha!  I also work full time  40 hours a week, for one of my parents weight loss companies.   I get to work from home so that is wonderful.  I am still doing hair as well.  I was also diagnosed with Hatimotos this year.  This is when your immune system attacks your thyroid and it stops to function.  This really sucks.  Many symptoms come from this.  Mine included extreme fatigue, weight gain, insomnia, and fibromyalsia.  Luckily we finally got my diagnosis and brock has been helping be get better.  I am feeling loads better and have lost 12 lbs.  I have been working on that 12 lbs for almost 2 years!  So glad its gone... just in time for baby number 4!  Yes we are trying for number four!!!!! FINALLY ha ha.  I will let ya'll know when that happens.

I think that is all the updates for now ha ha!

These are from Brock's Graduation...

 Pax was at a sitters so that way we could actually watch the ceremony.

 Her sign says "First day of school...Wants to be an artist"

 This is a pic that my sister Brittany took about 

a year ago but I love it!  Maddox is just so beautiful!!

Ha ha this is the most recent pic I have of Paxton.  Sad I know!  

This was part of a gift for Brock for fathers day.  

He was being such a turd this was the only way I could get him to hold kinda still.

changes

So many things are changing in our lives!! Its fun and stressful and amazing. First big change to come is we are moving next week. I am so excited for the move but sad as well. Who would ever think I would be sad to move out of pasadena!!?? Well its definetly not the city I am going to miss, but the people. I have made so many great friends that feel like family. I just hope that I never lose touch with them. I am glad I am only moving 30 min away.

Now to tell you about my house! We got an amazing deal. Heavenly father was certainly looking out for us! we prayed and fasted for a while before we found this place. It is in the area we wanted to set up brock's practice, its almost 28,000 sqft, and has a game room! It's a one and a half stories with 4 bedrooms 2 and1/2 bathrooms all down stairs. The only things upstairs is the massive game room and huge walk in closet. its perfect. My new bedroom is going to be huge as well as the bath room! Garden tub, seperate shower and two sinks. I am a little bit too excited!!!

The next big change is that my princess girl Rian is turning 5! I cannot believe she is so big she will be starting kindergarten this next school year and she could not be more excited! I love how independent she is and what a big help she is around the house. She is learning how to vacuum and feed pax. It is great to have her around helping out all the time.

Then we have Paxton turning one! He is so big and days from walking... I am not sure I am ready for this. His personality is starting to come out and I love it! He is so mischievous, Loves to eat, and steal his brother's toys. He just loves playing with the older kids. I love my littel man so much.

Then I will turn 26!! ahhhh! moving on to Maddox turning 4 crazy day. He is HUGE, he weighs 42 lbs! And he is all boy. He will be starting pre-k next school year so I will have one kid at home! ( time for another baby) ha ha ha. He loves to play in dirt and mud. He uses anything he can find as a weapon, usualy a sword, and loves to play super hero.

Then brock will graduate... AHHHHHH!!!! I am soo scared for this next stage of life but extremely excited. I know Brock will be an amazing doctor. It is just scary to go from a guaranteed loan to making our own money. :)

Well that is what is happening around here if you wants pics of the house either go to facebook or wait till I move in lol.

love you all!!

going private

By the end of tomorrow our blog is going private. If you would like to keep viewing it send me your emails and I will add you to the list.

Blogging from your phone

So I just figured out that u can blog from your phone! Technology is amazing!  What app will they think of next!

Maddox's Birthday

Maddox's 3 rd birthday was a blast! I was a nice sunny day out so we ended up throwing his party at the park again. The kids got to play in the fountains and get soaked.

unfortunately it was extremely windy! So the wind blew out maddox's candle for him. He didn't seem to mind though he just wanted to get to the eating part!

Don't mind my fluffiness! I had just had baby paxton 5 weeks prior to the party... so I was still a bit large ha ha ha. But any ways here's all the kids scarfin' down super hero cupcakes. He got super man and spider man because he couldn't decide which he wanted more!

Brock held pax almost the entire time that little boy loves his daddy and its a good thing too because yet again He looks just like him! I wonder if I will ever get a look alike child?? the odds are not in my favor! instead they get my stubbornness and dramatics ha ha. ( at least that is what I have been told, I don't think I am very dramatic!)

Maddox kept trying to get Rian to come play with him but she was done and kept saying no. So he decided to try to push her! Silly little man. thankfully he misjudged her weight and didn't push hard enough to move her! She may be short but that girl is a rock!

I cannot believe my little baby boy is three years old! He is growing so fast and getting so smart! He is such a little stinker but so loving at the same time. He loves to cuddle. He also loves to tease you, and "help" around the house. (breaking my laptop because he was cleaning it...windex soaked laptop is not a good thing). Now that he is talking better ( able to talk over Rian's constant chatter) He cracks me up on a daily basis! He says the funniest things! also we are in the why stage. Gotta love his curiosity.
Maddox: " mommy why you makin dinner?"
Me:" so you can eat!"
"why we gonna eat"
"cause your hungry"
"why I hungry?"
"because... Your a monkey!!"
"I a moon-key?! No I not a moon- key I a dog"

This is just a little sample of the kinds of long drawn out convo's I have with this guy every day. I have learned that the key to getting out of the why questions is to be silly and throw him off. but then you run into him getting a little too excited because mommy is being silly, he tends to turn everything into a boxing match lately! For a little dude he is surprisingly strong!. His punches seriously hurt. I love this little man more that life itself and am so glad I get to be his mommy!

Things are looking up!

Well I think this week took a huge turn for the better! Sweet little pax is no longer throwing up his food! we found a fomula that he can keep down. Only down side is it makes his little poo poos hard so instead of giving him a 4 oz bottle i give him a 6 oz bottle with 2 scoops just to get ectra water to loosen up his system and I think it is working... kinda. Finding a balance for this little guy is tricky! I finally got a little bit of sleep the first night pax slept for 5 hours! yay but then the next night he was back to his old habit of waking up every 45 min. He just loves to be held... all night. :( So the next night I asked brock to take him so I could get some sleep and he agreed. I am hoping he will take him all week end so that I can play catch up and recharge for next week.

The other little monsters are finally calming down!! My Mother in law, Victoria, Suggested a trip to the library. I have to admit I was totally freaked by the idea of leaving the house with all three kids by myself! But I sucked it up and went anyways! And yes it was every bit as hard as I thought it would be ha ha. But It was worth it just to get away form the house. We woke up cleaned the house and got ready to leave all before 10 am Something I didn't think was possible. They really enjoyed them selves. we went to the library, to chick fil a and to target. We went to targets little dollar isle and I let them pick out a few toys. They loved it. This week they have been listening so much better! They have been potting in toilet again too!

I am finally caught up with my school stuff and back on track and getting back into my primary president calling. Everything seems to be getting back on track finally :) Now I am going to list all of my blessings and all the things I am thankful for.

My beautiful kids, Rian, Maddox, and Paxton, and what strong willed spirits they have (they are going to need those growing up these days!)
My handsome, hardworking, loving, smart, caring, amazing, strong, dedicated, priesthood worthy husband Brock.
My ability to do hair from my house
Our cute little town home (its not perfect but at least we have a safe place to live)
our car that has never once broken down on us.
Being able to stay home with the kids instead of work
being able to do school online
My family and in laws and all the help and support they give us.
My good friend Savanah! She has rescued me so many times over the last year and a half since we met. living here would be miserable without her!
my testimony
The primary kids. They are so sweet and smart and teach me something new every week.
My friend Carolina who watches my kids for me much so I could take my math class or run errands or what ever!
Sister Ines Freeman! Thank you for your help and encouragement and for being a great example to me. I wanna be just like you when I grow up ha ha.
My little sister Caitlin... I lOVE you! your always there when I need to talk your great at just listening and not judging ha ha. I look up to you a lot.
Sister Hayden for always being there for me as well! I love how Rian loves you! You teach her so much in primary and it makes my life enjoyable to her all the things she has learned like choosing the right and choosing to clean her room;)
Chase and Stephanie Hayden you guys are great! I love that if I am ever having issues with my kids, my health, my anything I can call you guys for help.
My primary councilors! You guys are awesome! you totally picked up the ball when I had to drop it for a while ;)

I am so blessed and have so many amazing people in my life. It is a little over whelming to put it all down and see everything I am so thankful for. Life is great, being a mom is the best and most important calling in the world and I would not trade a second of it for anything! Thank you everyone for making my life so much brighter.

HELP!

So I think I might Be officially going crazy :p !!! oh by the way if you do not want to listen to me vent and whine then I suggest you stop reading now. I have waaaay to much "on my plate"! Paxton ( love him to peices!) is driving me batty. The kid won't sleep. I keep trying to get him on a schedule but his constant gassy-ness and spitting up everything he eats is kinda hindering that. plus turning me into one of the living dead :( My brain literally feels like its on stupid pills. I am forgeting EVERYTHING. no sleep + post prego hormones + two insane toddlers = crazy megan! which brings me to my next dilemma... Rian and Maddox have lost it. In the past two month since we brought pax home they have done the following:

Colored on every wall in the newly painted living room 2 times
colored all over every wall in their bedroom 4 times ( they hide markers in their hidey places I cant find)
colored all over, and I mean aaall over each other at least 5 times
dug up flowers in the newly planted garden
pulled the leaves off of my tomato plant
poured dirt on top of each others heads twice in one day on several occasions, after I told them to say out of it. and after baths.
colored on their bed sheets
broke a window
Peed in the corner of their room purposefully 1000x
Peed in the middle of their room purposefully10000x
Peed in the middle of the living room purposefully1000x
peed on the dog
piled up toys just to pee on them

there is more but I think you get the point...

I have no idea what to do with them! I do time outs, spankings, "serious" talks, and diapers. I have also made sure that I take them out on 1 on 1 dates, play with them during the day, listen to their many stories and questions, and explain calmly why I have to hold paxton and feed him instead of just jumping up every time they want me to... Am I missing something? what else is there to do? I have no Idea.

Next is the primary president stuff! AAAHHH! Not enough teachers, Not very many kids then a random jump in numbers every few Sundays from 5 kids to 30 or so. visits with the stake, visits with the presidency, activities to plan, making sure each child reads their scriptures for the week, sharing times, ward council, budgeting, blah blah blah blah :p

And last, school... My poor education! I am too forgetful now to be in school. SOOOO much homework this semester. taking online Spanish, all I have to say so far is... what? I don't understand! No entiendo! then there is online English. studying Hamlet, have you ever read Shakespeare??? Way to confusing! Dude just say what you mean! don't use five extremely flowery sentences to say "she's hot"! or " I love you" just come out and say it geesh! Then History online ugh. I thought I already learned about U.S history in high school... apparently not! cause I am hearing all sorts of stuff I never heard before. The easiest part is my at campus math class! I know right how is math easy? its easy when its math you took in jr high and high school and you now have to re take it. ha ha ha. Luckily its a work at your own pace. And I am eons ahead of my class mates. I finished the pre algebra class that I signed up for in 4 weeks and got a 100% on the final. So they are letting me take the next class for free during this semester! so far I have Completed 4 weeks worth of material in 1 week. I also have an A so far ...whew. I so cannot wait till this is over.

So moral of the story is... I have no Idea! Because I lost my mind ;)

Paxton Roe Johansen

First lets start with the morning of Paxton's birth-day! It was also the day of my baby shower! The most amazing girl, Savanah, threw my shower with a Very cute Dr. Sues theme. It was so much fun! thanks to all who came, and thanks for all the great gifts!

we played some fun games and ate amazing food! Savanah and her sister brandy did an amazing job decorating and cooking thanks guys!

These Thing 1 cupcakes were so cute and tasty to bad soon after this pic was taken the humidity got to them and thier "blue hair" went flat. ha ha

Right after this pic savanah and I took of for the mall to see if I could go into labor and... it worked!! a few hours later brock and I were off to the hospital!

Now here is baby Paxton Roe! born january 29th at 8pm
He weighed 7lbs and 2 oz
19 3/4 inches long.
My smallest yet longest baby yet.

Just minutes after his birth and he is already flirting with the camera!

The next morning Savanah and Brian ( her hubby) brought the kids to meet their new brother for the first time! After this pic Rian started searching hard around the room. When I asked her what she was looking for she said she was looking for her baby sister. Ha ha ha I told her it would take at least another 2 years before that could happen!

Maddox was not too sure about the whole baby thing at first but he has warmed up to the idea and can't wait till Pax is big enough to play with. He says he will teach him how to wrestle.

We were stuck in the hospital for 5 days ( due to a minor infection I got with the c section) So brock took every opportunity to bond with little pax while mommy was beyond drugged and sleeping alot!

And in between naps I took the time to bond with the most precious boy ever.

Remember how I said I was drugged? Ya that is why I look so out of it here. ha ha ha. I thought I was smiling but I guess my face forgot to respond!

Rian begs to hold Pax every 5 minutes. She absolutely loves having a baby in the house. And maddox likes to kiss and "pet" his head. They are always asking " how is pax feelin?" they are too cute with him. I am so glad no one has tried to hurt anyone yet!

This little boy is such a perfect blessing in our lives! He is so sweet and cuddly. He eats ALOT and sleeps ALOT. but when he is awake he loves to just stare at you and make silly faces. it is sooo hard to not hold him 24/7. unfortunately with 3 kids that is impossible. I have to take turns. We love this kid!